


A Confrontation in Handcuffs

by LatteWolf



Series: Warren Kepler and Daniel Jacobi: Flashes in Time [4]
Category: Wolf 359 (Radio)
Genre: Arguing, Canon Compliant, Character Development, Character Study, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, POV Third Person Limited, Season/Series 04, Self-Reflection, Sloppy Makeouts, Unhealthy Relationships, Warren Kepler-centric, assholes in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:33:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23553094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LatteWolf/pseuds/LatteWolf
Summary: Jacobi, his partner, was one of the people he was supposed to trust the most, and who was supposed to trust him unconditionally.Here, his partner was telling him he failed.-Warren and Daniel have a heart-to-heart in the brig of the Hephaestus station while the state of their relationship is tested. Also, rationalizing everything you've ever done, phantom pains, and some time in solitary. Takes place directly after mini-episode 14, "One of Them."
Relationships: Daniel Jacobi/Warren Kepler
Series: Warren Kepler and Daniel Jacobi: Flashes in Time [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1575169
Kudos: 37





	A Confrontation in Handcuffs

**Author's Note:**

> Hey so as much as I love keeping things as close to canon as possible, there is a timeline discrepancy in this series. Technically, Jacobi tells Kepler about Questions Only before the episode "No Complaints" which happens in like 2011 way before meeting Alana. I frankly don't care, however, because the timeline is messy anyway and I'll continue to bend it to indulge myself as I please. Also, hey how 'bout that national emergency that's going on? Ain't that wild? (Not betaed btw)

_ You treated me like one of  _ **_them_ ** _. _

_ You could have  _ **_trusted_ ** _ me. _

_ You’re addicted to gambling with people’s lives, and you  _ **_lost_ ** _. _

Kepler couldn’t shake the words from his mind. They kept echoing like a chant, over and over. He was accustomed to a certain amount of brutal honesty from his partner, but… not this.

_ I want to know  _ **_why_ ** _. _

Why? Kepler thought he knew why. Warren Kepler is a military man, he follows orders unquestioningly and loyally. He doesn’t ask. He obeys. He  _ is _ the middle link in the food chain, he always has been.

So why does this feel wrong? Why does he feel a tug of guilt that shouldn’t be there? When he hears himself trying to convince Jacobi, “you didn’t need to know,” why does he feel like he’s convincing himself?

It’s been quiet for too long- painfully long- and all Warren can do is clench his fist and stare at the floor of the makeshift brig. He wants to argue, to kick and scream, to tell Jacobi he’s wrong. He’s weak. He’s immature. He doesn’t understand. He doesn’t know his place.

Kepler thought he knew his own.

He steals a glance at Jacobi across from him, but he isn’t even looking at him. His face looks helpless but knowing.

Kepler knows Jacobi understands more than he gives him credit for. 

He also knows it doesn’t have to end like this, and it probably will end soon. After all the deaths, the trauma, the distrust… There’s only so far the tensions on the ship can grow, and Kepler can’t let everything end with his partner resenting him. He can’t keep pretending he has everything under control, especially not to his partner. Jacobi was the only person who consistently saw humanity in him, even when he let him down. Jacobi is all he has left. Jacobi is-

“Everything we’ve been through on this ship, everything we shared together, was that all a lie too? Was everything just a means to an end for you?” Jacobi asks vindictively. He’s still not looking at him.

“No, I- How could you even say that? Of course-” Kepler can’t seem to get the words out.

“‘No,’ what? I thought that we… like an idiot, I thought maybe it was all real. We knew what they didn’t. We were on top. You were my superior as a formality, but the three of us were  _ equals _ . And what we had, I… I thought you’d changed. Just for a moment, I believed that your obsession with toying with me wasn’t just that,” Jacobi says.

“You’re right.”

Jacobi raises his head slowly, his eyes narrowing, then widening in disbelief. 

Never. 

Never would Warren Kepler admit to someone other than himself being right.

Not in the years he’s been working for Goddard and definitely not in the years Jacobi has known him. 

But he’ll say it again.

“You know what? I  _ am _ obsessed. It was always a game, everything was always a game, and you knew that. But I always relied on you playing  _ back _ . I never fathomed that… I never would’ve let this happen, I didn’t know better,” Kepler says.

“That’s a damn lie, and you know it,” Jacobi replies.

“I didn’t mean for this to happen, any of it,” Kepler says.

“No, you just didn’t expect to lose,” Jacobi spits out like venom, stinging just as much.

“I didn’t mean for you to get hurt. I didn’t mean for Maxwell to get hurt either,” Kepler says.

Jacobi immediately pushes off the wall, lunging forward like a chained animal, a beast, looking Kepler dead in the eyes.

“Don’t talk about her. You don’t get to talk about her. That brilliant human being was my only friend in this cold, dark universe. My  _ only _ friend. You could’ve done better! You could’ve meant it when you said we were in this together, but no! You lied because your loyalty to us wasn’t as important as your loyalty to your  _ boss _ . Cutter doesn’t give a shit about you! Cutter doesn’t give a shit about any of us! Didn’t you know we were all you had?!”

That sentiment sinks in and doesn’t let go.

They were all Kepler had.

“Now you don’t even have that. That’s because of what  _ you’ve  _ done. Don’t  _ ever _ talk about her you conniving, pathological, pathetic excuse for a man. Believe me, if I wasn’t restrained the Hephaestus crew would have had to scrub you off the fucking walls.” Jacobi inches away from Kepler, face twisted in anger, cheeks flushed red, eyes on the very brink of tears.

“Do it then,” Kepler says, no expression, no tone,

Hit me.”

Jacobi eases his shoulders, his face falling as he sighs deeply and pauses for a breath, looking at the floor. Kepler is about to flinch but is slowly relieved as he sees Jacobi settle himself. 

Then suddenly, Jacobi inhales sharply and headbutts Kepler in one swift motion, striking him square in the face.

Kepler reels back, wheezing as he feels warmth drip down from his nose that settles on his lip, salty and metallic. He feels a throb on the bridge of his nose and a swell in the inner corner of his eye. This isn’t nearly the worst pain he’s ever felt, but it hurts the worst-

And he deserves it.

When he steadies himself, Kepler is face to face with Jacobi, so close he can see every detail, every crease, every scar, all the resentment that has been etched into his features over the years. They’re both sitting, panting in the dark, tense and aching.

Kepler’s eyes soften as they fall slowly to Jacobi’s mouth, which is slightly parted. 

Jacobi gazes at him, the look no different than every moment they’ve shared in the past. Kepler is caught off guard by the sparkle in his eye, just like he remembered it. Jacobi’s tongue darts out to swipe over his chapped lips before leaning in in one swoop, clashing against Kepler in a fit of teeth and bruises. Jacobi goes all in, pours all his hatred into a long, painful kiss, biting Kepler’s bottom lip until it bleeds, shoving him backward toward the wall. Kepler whines at the sting and pulls back, breathing heavily.

“The Hephaestus crew… they put mics in the room,” Kepler says.

“I don’t give a shit,” Jacobi replies. He leans back in, continuing his attack, then moving further to suck Kepler’s jaw down to his neck, leaving trails of warm teeth marks. Jacobi bites down harshly, then pulls away and hovers over the purpling skin.

For one moment, everything is still. Then, Jacobi cautiously runs his tongue over the bruise, gently licking a stripe up and pecking his jaw tenderly. He pants in the crook of Kepler’s neck, resting there as everything stills. He looks back to face Kepler with a conflicting jumble of expressions. It was harsh and relentless, yet gentle and nurturing- so familiar that Kepler looks back at him, stunned.

All Kepler’s doubts about Jacobi still returning feelings for him vanish entirely. There was no other explanation; Jacobi wasn’t someone who used romance to manipulate others. Kepler thinks, almost regretfully, ‘ _ Only I do that _ .’ Then why is he still upset? Why does he still honestly believe that Kepler is the scum of the Earth?

How long has Kepler been the only player in this game?

Jacobi never stopped loving him. He never stopped wanting him. Yet, he still was willing to lash out, attack, and insult him unlike he’s ever done before. Jacobi loved Alana so much that it trumped all else. He believed that Kepler was so villainous, so traitorous that loving him didn’t seem to matter anymore. Not here. Not now.

Jacobi, his partner, was one of the people he was supposed to trust the most, and who was supposed to trust him unconditionally.

Here, his partner was telling him he failed.

Kepler is suddenly hit by a wave of guilt, of pain. Kepler isn’t a man who felt guilt and pain- or rather, acknowledges it. He leans in with his eyes closed, as if to kiss Jacobi again, but just rests his forehead on his, trying to steady his breathing.

Everything didn’t have to be this way. Kepler’s stupid need for control, for superiority, for his worldly pleasures brought them here. Still, he didn’t know how to explain that this isn’t his fault. Or, that at least, he doesn’t want it to be.

Kepler inhales shakily through his nose and lets out short, broken exhales.

Stinging tears roll down his cheek, pooling at his chin and falling, during a single moment that seems to last an eternity. Kepler opens his eyes with a quiet sniff, afraid of making eye contact with Jacobi again. He realizes that Jacobi’s eyes have been closed the whole time.

Kepler sits back against the wall and turns his head back to wipe his tear-streaked face on his shoulder. They sit quietly as Kepler tries to rationalize everything he’s ever done in his head. He wishes for a time machine, for just an opportunity to make everything right. He knows he could fix it if he had only a chance.

“Daniel,” Kepler sighs, “I’m sorry. For everything,” Kepler says in a small voice, taking a chance. He begs for something- anything.

Jacobi doesn’t open his eyes, his face unreadable.

Kepler waits for any change, feeling more vulnerable than he ever has in his life.

Still, Jacobi simply sits, eyes closed.

The feeling of dejection is unbearable, and it hits Kepler all at once, for the first time:

‘ _ Oh god, _ ’ he thinks to himself,

‘ _ this is what it feels like. _ ’

Kepler looks at the floor, feeling numb.

He waits for what feels like an eternity, hoping that Jacobi will say something, anything that he can respond to, explain himself. Prove himself.

“Do you know what the problem is, Colonel? With your love of whiskey?”

Kepler doesn’t know how to respond. He just lets him continue.

“See, no matter how much you cherish it, how much you love it, how much you say you would sacrifice for it-”

Kepler inhales a shaky breath, frozen silent in place.

“It could still end up on the other side of that airlock. And you wouldn’t move a damn muscle. Every last bit of mental gymnastics is all in your head. You’ll bark some orders, bare some teeth, but at the end of the day? It ends up being someone else’s problem.”

Blood pools on Kepler’s tongue from the vice grip he’s had on his lower lip. No amount of explaining can fix this. This is a devastating kind of helplessness.

“You think it matters who put it there. You think it matters how it got there. You think it matters who you think has to be punished. But you just can’t see the trees for the forest. And I can’t- I can’t keep-”

The static feedback of the speakers interrupts the two as their eyes finally meet.

“Uh… guys… um…” Eiffel sputters out nonsensically.

“Ugh, give me that. We’re separating you two,” Minkowski interjects.

“Yeah, this was entertaining at first, but… This is just… Yeah,” Eiffel groans.

Kepler broke the eye contact, his face feeling flushed, “How long-”

“Oh, we left for snacks after a bit,” Eiffel starts, “But we came back to…”

Kepler puts his fist against his mouth and sighs dramatically.

“So one of you is staying in whatever empty hole we can find on the ship. You have a few minutes,” Minkowski says before the speaker cuts out.

Kepler and Jacobi sit across from each other, stealing glances.

“Do you want to know?” Kepler asks.

“Know… know what?” Jacobi responds.

Kepler blurts out, “Everything.”

What is he  _ doing _ ?

“Ask a question. I’ll give you an answer,”

“Alana. Tell me about Alana,” Jacobi says without missing a beat.

Oh god. Here it goes.

“Back before the mission. I lied about the vetting assignment. And… Maxwell lied, too,” Kepler says.

“Alana lied to you? Not exactly surprised,” Jacobi chuckled.

“No, Jacobi. She lied to you.”

Jacobi’s face twisted, staring at Kepler incredulously.

“Jacobi, before the vetting assignment, I met with Maxwell personally. Goddard had been trying to recruit her for months, and she wasn’t taking. So I showed her Hyperion. Gave her a taste,”

Kepler struggled to meet his eyes. Jacobi looked crushed.

Kepler still continued, “We needed to officialize everything on paper, tie things up, and Cutter proposed that it would be best-”

“I always knew I couldn’t trust you, but Alana? No, you’re lying again! This isn’t true, just shut up, stop-”

“You said you wanted the truth. I’m giving you the truth.”

Jacobi turns away from him, hands trembling.

Kepler always felt like a foreigner to his and Alana’s relationship. He was ever the outsider looking in, pretending the bond they had was beneath him. As envious as he was of that, he couldn’t take that away from him.

Kepler had done enough.

“If it makes you feel any better, it wasn’t part of the plan for her to call us, especially not to get  _ in _ the van. When I was surprised... it was real. Everything she said was because she wanted to. Maxwell always played by her own rules, not even Goddard could stop that,” Kepler says tentatively.

“If she wanted to, she could’ve taken over the world. She could’ve bested you, Cutter, even Pryce. Alana was....”

“She was extraordinary. I don’t know what we did to deserve her.” Kepler finishes.

“We didn’t.”

Kepler ran his fingers over his wrist, feeling a phantom pain where his hand used to be. He thought telling the truth would hurt more, that whatever ounce of him that was still loyal to the chain of command would be blaring red alerts. Yet Kepler only feels relief. He doesn’t trust it.

Saying what he wants of his own accord is a pure form of freedom that Kepler hasn’t had in years. He can’t imagine having that freedom as Alana did.

“I’m going to tell them everything. About the mission, about the extraterrestrials. Everything I know,” Kepler says.

“Why?”

“Because I don’t have a choice.”

Jacobi looks at Kepler inquisitively. Kepler won’t admit it, he’s not there yet. But he knows he doesn’t have to say the words for Jacobi to know something’s changed.

He only hopes it’s enough.

The door to the brig swings open and Eiffel looks in, fingers over his eyes, peeking through hesitantly.

“Are you two decent?”

Jacobi stands up immediately, grumbling as he kicks off the wall and propels himself towards the entrance. Both he and Kepler flinch at the glaring lights that pour in from the doorway, reminding them of how long they’ve been floating, bound, in the dark.

Jacobi shoves Eiffel with his shoulder annoyedly.

“Hurry up and take me to whatever maintenance closet Minkowski’s deemed worthy,” Jacobi mutters, hovering in the doorway, “I need some time in solitary.”

“Right this way, m’ lord,” Eiffel says, pantomiming an over-the-top bow, waving his hand with a flourish and a crude accent.

Kepler squints as he watches Jacobi turn his back, not saying a word as Eiffel takes him by the restraints and leads him down the hall. He silently prays that a word he’s said has done anything to fix this, prays for something he can’t articulate. The feeling of hopelessness sinks further as the door closes, and the sense of impending panic grows louder as the strip of light cast on his face grows narrower.

A deep, resounding creek echoes through the room as Kepler is left alone in the dark.

**Author's Note:**

> I will endlessly commend this series for the amazing story, but one thing that disappointed me about Kepler's big character moment during the finale was the lack of foreshadowing or any implication of him reflecting on his own actions. I suppose it was intended to be a shock to the audience that he has some humanity in him, but I don't think many of us ever saw Kepler as the stone-faced, unfeeling robot he presents himself as. I think there was a missed opportunity to have a Kepler-centric episode focused on his internal conflict that led to his decision to literally go against everything he's ever known is all I'm sayin'. This where I thought that moment might fit. Kthxbye.


End file.
